A simple 4-step guide to get the person you’d ideally want to be with — a guide meant to get you quality rather than quantity.
- Identify What You Want. (Rule of Thumb: Look at your own behavior to help you figure it out. If your own behavior doesn’t fit the mold, you gotta change either yourself or what you want.)
- Become the Person S(he) Would Want to Date. (Rule of Thumb: If it’s impossible, lower your standards. If it’s hard, either lower your standards or be content with the fact it’s gonna take a while until s(he)’ll want you. I hope you’ve saved a lot of lube.)
- Be Honest. (Rule of Thumb: If you’re finding yourself lying or getting no bites at all, go back to 1 or 2 and figure out where you went wrong — and yes, you did go wrong. If you’re getting less attention than usual, that’s good! The ones you aren’t gunning for are getting the hint and staying away.)
- Keep Communicating Honestly and Thoroughly. (Rule of Thumb: Look to yourself and make sure you’re not the one at fault before you think to criticize your partner. It’s easy to blame a failure to cope emotionally with some sort of trigger on your partner, but ultimately that’s an issue you will need to sort out yourself — even with therapy if need be.)